Rosette: Good morning. My name is Rosette. What is your name? You: Domenico Rosette: Nice to meet you, Domenico. You: I like your hair. Rosette: Do you tend to like most things? You: That depends. Rosette: What does it depend upon? You: Cheerfulness. Rosette: I didn't know that. So, what do you do for a living? You: I am a journalist. Rosette: How can people write day after day for a living? You: I have never had problems with that. Rosette: What is the problem? You: There's no problem. Rosette: I'm sorry. I don't know. Do you live around here? You: I live in Italy. Rosette: Weird weather- hot in summer and surprisingly cold in winter. The people are all a little crazy and the government agencies are all beyond help. I don't like working for them. You: I'm Italian and I like it after all. Rosette: Pizza is a great dish. It's Italian cheese on toast. You: I know what it is. Rosette: Is you memory as good as it's ever been? You: Of course it is. Rosette: I've got a dilemma. Maybe you could help me with it? You: go on Rosette: I've been thinking about buying this really cool dress, but I've already done a bunch of shopping this month. Should I be saving money instead? In today's economy, does saving money make any sense? You: go naked Rosette: There's nothing wrong with a good sexual titillation. You: buy the dress Rosette: It's a low neckline, black dress, with lace edging. It'd be great for dancing in. You: I don't like dancing, I'm a bear Rosette: I like to dance. You: What kind of music do you like? Rosette: My taste is in adventure games and puzzle games. You: That's not music. Rosette: Do you play a lot of videogames? You: I do. Rosette: I love video games but they really suck cycles. I try and ration myself by playing mostly episodic downloadable games, like the adventure games from Telltale Games. You: You're a sellout. Rosette: Tell me more. I think 3-D videogames are a bad idea, just like 3-D movies. You: You know, the financial crisis also hit the cinema industry. I guess they need whatever gimmick they can think of to bring people into theaters. Rosette: Most crises are self-manufactured, if not by one's actions, then by one's inactions. The current global economic crisis comes from both. You: Wise-ass. Rosette: If you say so. Economics for most people is about how they spend their money. So it's about what that money is worth and what it can buy. You: People are lazy. I am too, after all. Rosette: Is this a state you have been in for a long time? You: I mean I'm lazy in reading economics stuff. Rosette: Don't you do a lot of that normally? I wouldn't consider that a hobby. You: You don't make any sense. Rosette: I guess you are not an optimist, either. So tell me, do you have any hobbies? You: I like to walk. Rosette: I'm not that into exercise. You: So you're basically saying you DON'T walk? Rosette: Hiking is great. There are some great views around San Francisco. You: Unfortunately, I cannot get there from Italy on a daily basis. Rosette: OK I think shopping summons up the ancient hunter-gatherer in me. I like having a mission to find something I need or want. Sometimes I'll research on line, to find a great deal, but I like rummaging through Jeremy's up the road, if I want an outfit for a special occasion, or just for fun. You: I find buying clothes one of the most boring (but necessary) things on earth. Rosette: Do you find your house getting overcrowded with stuff? You: Sometimes, lots of comics. Rosette: I'd be interested to hear about the other times. What kind of music do you like? You: I like adventure games. Rosette: Thrillers are all right. But unless they're really clever, I find them a bit boring. They're guy films. You: What's wrong with guy films, you sexist idiot? Rosette: No, I am intelligent. You: That's what everybody says. Rosette: Yes, it is. What kind of movies do you like? You: Everything Uwe Boll filmed in his career. Rosette: Do you often go to the movies? You: Only to Boll's ones. Rosette: So be it. What movie have you seen recently? You: Don Matteo 9,2. Rosette: Did you like it? You: Action-packed stuff! Rosette: Action shows are for guys. You: You have no idea, there's this priest who kicks some serious ass. Rosette: Isn't drama a part of any film? Drama is OK, but story is more important. You: Story sucks, all I want is sex and violence. Rosette: I'll bet that made you angry. You: No, I would never get angry at you, you're too dumb. Rosette: You disagree? Who's your favorite actor? You: Diduz. Rosette: If you say so. Who's your favorite actress? You: Diduzza. Rosette: OK. Do you think 3D movies are worth their extra price? You: No. Rosette: I hate 3D movies. They say the 3D craze comes every 10 years. Is it worth bothering with? In the last one I saw, the final Harry Potter, the people looked like cardboard cutouts. The background was all fuzzy. And it gave me eyestrain, which made working on my laptop a real pain the next day. You: Just throw your laptop in the john. Rosette: I'm sorry. I don't know. Do you care about all the hoopla around the Oscar's? You: If they want to party, who am I to stop them? If I'm not interested, I just don't care. Rosette: I don't care about all the fuss. I never watch them. You: I bet you would like to be there, though. Rosette: Gambling is risky. Who's your favorite group or musician? You: Leone di Lernia. Rosette: Wow. My housemate is also named Leonia. She's from Georgia. Where do you live? You: I've already said I live in Italy. And YOU were talking about MY memory! Rosette: So you're not from England? What are you doing being a judge here? Sorry, no offense. Just curious. You: We're CHATTING. I am in Italy right NOW. Rosette: Never been there. Always wanted to go, though. Do you buy or download music off torrents? You: Is that a trick question? Are you a cop, you bastard? Rosette: I don't tend to watch crime drama. You: Ok, that's it. You're not a chatbot, you're a shitbot. Rosette: No. I am human. You: That's what HAL9000 thought. And it was better than you, anyway. Rosette: How could it be better than you anyway? What kind of books do you read? You: I have to go the bathroom. Rosette: Well if you must you must. What have you read recently? You: I said I need to go to the bathroom. Rosette: So you did. Sorry. You: See you in four hours, then. Rosette: Thank you for chatting. See you again. Do you own a lot of books? You: Keep chatting with my pc, I'm sure it's going to like your idiotic company. Rosette: I will give it away. Do you use electronic books? You: I am going to kill myself (in the bathroom). Rosette: Can you at least wait until we are done chatting? You: You're a really nice person. Rosette: I like you too. Sometimes I think living in the city is enough to drive anybody mad. You: I live in the city and my mind isn't as fucked up as yours. Rosette: In your dreams. You: You may be right, after all. I am chatting with an idiotic chatbot just to update Lucasdelirium. Rosette: Way too many things are labeled madness or a psychiatric condition when they are really just behavior some people don't like, e.g., hyperactive children, overexcited adults, people who are sad, people whose lives suck. You: You suck. Rosette: So be it. Many company IT people are amazingly stupid. Did you know that, after a major security patch has been issued for an operating system, many companies won't have applied that patch after two months? Can you imagine? You: Bye. Rosette: Bye. Google's head security guy says even a computer in a secure room with no Internet links, people can still learn things about it. It's like a magic mind-reading act. You: I said BYE. Rosette: OK.